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Drained........
Posted On: 04/17/2008 13:31:18
My dad has just phoned me, we were on the phone for half an hour, it doesn't sound very long, but let me tell you, it was the longest half an hour of my life.

He talked about his job, his house, his mortgage, his pension or lack of, his ex-wife, his cat, his dog, his mother, his brother, his brothers wife, his brothers car/house/barn in France and his own health.

He didn't ask about my children-his grandchildren, didn't ask about me personally just about my job. When I did tell him my fantastic news on my black belt grading day he said-'who gives you that then?' I told him who and his reply was 'I couldn't do it because of my bad back, I tell you my bad back is giving me hell......me, me, me!!!!!!' That was it, no more about me and my accomplishments-nothing. 

He didn't ring to see how I was doing, he didn't even pretend to be interested-what on earth is that about! It was a call to rid him of self guilt because he knows he is and has always been a rubbish dad. I'm so infuriated with myself for letting him get to me in such a negative way, but once the life has been sucked out of you it's hard to think straight!!!

Now I've got that off my chest, I will go and enjoy a large glass of wine and chill out!!!!!


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Viewing 1 - 4 out of 4 Comments

From: TGILLETTE53
04/18/2008 06:59:29
I'm sorry your father is too stuck on himself to appreciate what you are accomplishing.  You should be proud and hold your head up since you're overcoming the negative things he said to you.  You have done very well and should be proud of your achievements!


From: tkdq
04/18/2008 03:49:10


narcsarge wrote:
This from the lady that told my wife and I that
our son (her grandson) would never be as special as his cousins. WTF!

OMG!!! I cannot believe a mother/gandmother would say such a thing! That is outrageous!

My
dad and i never had a good relationship-I stopped all contact with him
for eleven years-but my sister insisted we should give him another
try-that will be my biggest regret. There is so much to say about how
my dad treated us-mental abuse being the main issue, when i was about
14 years old he told me i would amount to nothing because it takes guts
to make something of yourself-plus he said I was stupid (that is why he
challenged me to an IQ test-I beat him by 5% but he said its because I
have a younger brain!! Arrggh!!!!

But now I am older, I gave a chance to redeem himself-and this
is what i get. He spends more time with his ex-wifes family!!!! Uh??

Sod
'em. I think my mum did a fantastic job raising my sister and I on her
own-God knows how i would have turned out if it was down to him.

We are better of without them! 

From: narcsarge
04/17/2008 16:22:58
Parents can be as self absorbed as the rest of the planet.  I finally ended this issue w/ my folks when my Mother wondered why I hadn't called in a while.  I simply stated that she knows how to use a telephone and can call if she wanted.  This from the lady that told my wife and I that our son (her grandson) would never be as special as his cousins.    WTF!  


From: actinonimpulse
04/17/2008 13:51:57
I'm sorry to hear about your Dad's self-absorption and lack of care towards you.  I understand how difficult that can be and my heart goes out to you.  I don't think my Dad has initiated a call to me since the day I graduated from high school.  I try to call him once a month (usually the last week) and at least say hi and see how things are going simply because I know that if something were to happen to him I would not be able to live with myself for not at least trying to have a relationship with him.  Anyway, I am sorry that you had to deal with that today and hope you enjoy that glass of wine!


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