I've been struggling lately on being able to focus on anything.  I get by but not as well as I should.  This past weekend I traveled down to Omaha to visit a Buddhist Temple that I visited while in college (I'm not a buddhist just have friends there).  SOme friends of mine had heard what had happened and wanted to me to come visit and do some meditation.  It was great to escape my problems for a few hours.  I then met with a friend who was going through similar issues and we held each other and  cried, which was good to get out of my system. But I still struggle with sleeping, my insomina has going into overdrive and I haven't slept in at least 30 hrs, I'm fine for now but I need to get my mind to slow down.

But now I'm to a point that I feel like I need to focus on my life again.  I need to get moving and keep myself busy. I am starting a complete meditation routine for every night and morning, I still struggle with my emotions at the moment, it's wierd going from laughing my head off to busting into tears for no reason.  I need to keep my emotions undercontrl  I'm a person that can wear my heart on my sleave and it can get dangerous if I get angery (wow that shoulds like the Hulk).  I've slumped off on eath healthy,  instead going on the pigging out of any thing that sounded good, including pop.  I need to control what I eat so that I hopefully get a better night's sleep.  Finally I'm going to throw myself completely into my TKD training. I'm creating new weight lifght regimes and cardo regimes to start using. 

I figure I need to make something of myself,  I need something that will help me get through everything.  I have a feeling that it's going to get worse before it get's better.  As was said in the Dark Knight, "The night is always darkest before the sunrise."  I've been down in dark and it will get worse but I'm ready for it, in the words of the Rock "Just Bring IT"