Last night was a challenging night for me personally. I went to class and learned my new form toi-gye(spelling not sure)  It's a challenging form and will take some time to clean up but it's going to be fun.  During the first class, a student needed to make up a test so I was asked to lead the class and was told to do what ever I wanted.  That's kind of scary to person who is usually told what to go over.  I stumpled a little with wrong terms and messed up counting (i'm a writer not an accountant).  But I think I'm sort of getting the hang of it.  I'm looking forward to getting a chance to try it more and learn how to be a better teacher.  During the second class (advance brown and black) she had us break down a one-step sparring technique.  It was intersting because our peers where watching and where told to ask questions.  It was a fun experiment. 

However the end of the night was tough because I met up with my ex-fiancee and we returned items back to each other.  It was hard because for once I didn't know what to say.  I talked with my instructor about everything lettering her know why I might be looking like I'm down and sad.  She told me to "be strong" and i was even though I wanted the ground to swallow me up. 

I still don't know where I'm going or what I'll do.  RIght now I'm planning on at least staying at my current job till the end of the year and then I'll figure out what I'm going do.  I want to stay in the area and complete my training to at least first dan, then maybe look at going back to school for culinary art training but I'm not sure yet.  I'm just trying to get my head on straight. 

I do know that I need buckle down and refocus,  I've kind of let things go and I need to straighten up.  I need to get back on a healthy and regular eating routine, I also need to start more training on the side.

My instructor asked if I would be willing to lead class on weekends she isn't there,  I told her after this weekend(which I need to spend some time to myself to clear my head and get out of town for a bit) I would be willing to help when I'm busy with work.  I was also told that it's cool that I crash at the dojang on nights before test or needing a place to sleep since I have a key. It's great that I'm to through myself into TKD, I would golf but the season is pretty much over.

Thanks to everyone who has sent encourging words.