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MasterPerry wrote:
Just like many tasks in all of our lives, we come up agaist obstacles that it is just eaisier to say OK I QUIT. I council my parents who run into this problem (and they all run into this problem) that they are the PARENT. If they believe that there is benefit in Martial Art training for their child. If the discipline, confidence, physical fitness, character building is part of what they want for their child, it takes a You have to Go ......sometimes. After all if your child wakes in the morning and says "I don't want to go to school today" is it allowed or do you see the benefit of education and get them up and ready for the day.
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very well said, part of the problem with our country is no one wants to be the bad guy and make our children responsible. WE ARE THE GROWNUPS!!!!!!!! like I tell me kids when your 18 you can do what you like ( within reason) but for now my job is to teach you and make you the best person i no you can be!!!!! I've heard the I hate you, you ruined my life everything, but in the end you no what my son says, atleast i know you care and thanks, that keeps me strong when i want to be weak and say sure don't do it if it's uncomfortable for you.
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no sacrifice no victory
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| POSTED BY: Linda on 03/03/2008 04:17:24 |
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The more I have thought about the replies the more I've realised how much what Master Perry said makes sense
I also completely agree with what you say taekwondojunkie
I have started saying to both my kids
I am the adult not you, when you are 18 or so and decide to move out, you have the rest of your lives to make your own decisions etc, until then tough, you abide by our rules etc. My son has tried the I don't want to line twice this week, on both occasions I've said tough - you're going to training, and do you know what, he has trained really hard and admitted he enjoyed it
I'm NOT falling for that one again!!!
Still it's all learning and experience isn't it lol
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Don't stop trying
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| POSTED BY: kalynn on 03/24/2008 07:46:08 |
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All parents seem to struggle with this problem.
But as we've heard in the other posts, you can't just let them quit because they'd decided it's not exciting anymore. We don't let them stay home from school just because they don't want to go. We don't let them stop musical instruments because they don't feel like practicing. It's all the same.
Keeping a consistent schedule and reminding them, "it's Monday, we have taekwondo tonight" has always worked well with my boys. They might moan, but they know they're going to class after school so it's no big surprise later when I shoo them off to get ready.
I finally gave in with my oldest. He started high school this year and trained to the point of 2nd dan. I let him decide if he wanted to continue. He is developing interests in many things now and is really into Boy Scouts (working on Eagle) so I felt it was time to let him have some say in his extra curricular priorities. He chose to stop TKD. When he's older, maybe he'll want to go back. I leave it up to him now.
My master, who is around 58 now and who has lived TKD his entire life, told me he asked his parents several times over the years if he could quit and they never let him. As an adult, he is profoundly grateful that they made the decision for him.
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A Taekwondo Woman
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I really have mixed feelings on this topic. I definitely think it is important to teach children that they need to stick with something and not give up when it gets too difficult but I also worry about burn out.
I do not have children of my own but am a nanny of 3 wonderful children and I am watching the oldest (7) quickly lose interest and willingness to train. In the beginning she was really excited and passionate about going to class and training. At that time, she was going about 3 times a week. Now, she is at the dojo for a minimum of 8 hours a week and she is not happy about going at all. I know that she does enjoy TKD, she is just missing out on being a kid.
I see a little girl who is leaving the house at 8am every day and not getting home until 6 or 7 every night and then she has to be in bed by 8pm. I guess, I am questioning what is too much? When do we say that you need to continue training but you only have to go so many hours a week rather than a minimum of 2 hours Monday thru Thursday? I just hate to see a child burn out on something that they were once very excited and passionate about. How do we know when they are being pushed too hard?
Sorry, just had to ask!!!
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Finding My Inner Strength
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| POSTED BY: tkdq on 03/26/2008 14:04:55 |
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OMG I used to think I was really harsh on Mollie-but after reading this thread I now know I am not the only one!
Every week Mollie is pulling the face when I say it's time to get ready for TKD, and every week I go into the big TKD talk of why she does it and how beneficial it is going to be for her and how one day she will realise......
then i realise what I'm saying to my 9year old and finish the chat with this....
You are going to be training in TKD until I think you are old enough to make the decision to quit-but while you are under the age of 18 years and living under this roof, you will be going, so you can moan all you like but it doesn't change a thing-now go and get ready!!! I'm not raising a quitter. 
we have come to an agreement, when she gets to black belt she can take up dance or drama class-but she will still be doing TKD on top.
Bit of bribery....sometimes make the best parenting.
After writing it down, I think I am more harsh than all of you, but it works for me! I don't remember being given important decisions when I was a child, thats what parents are for-looking out for their best interests-we are potentially saving their lives one day.
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Finally!!!!
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| POSTED BY: Linda on 03/27/2008 06:04:01 |
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tkdq wrote:
You are going to be training in TKD until I think you are old enough to make the decision to quit-but while you are under the age of 18 years and living under this roof, you will be going, so you can moan all you like but it doesn't change a thing-now go and get ready!!!
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My kids often say, why can't we do such and such, it's not fair we can't....... etc etc I regularly tell them, you haven't got many more years left living under my roof, when you are 18 or so and leave you have many, many years ahead of you to make your own decisions, whilst you are hear you do what I ask I've never stipulated that for TKD though, the thought hadn't crossed my mind I shall be trying that line from now then
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Don't stop trying
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