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because my parents really dont know how much i really go threw .. im not saying i go threw a lot but it is stressful.. they think that my job is just to go to school and make the grades ... but they dont have to deal with people like this in my schools, like the crime rate has been going up a hole lot in school and in my school about 65% of all Jr. and Sr. has an STD. and im not even playing, we had a blood drive last year and that was the % of people. and just imagen that was people that was willing to help others so their most likely the good ones!!. and all these people keep on playing and messing around and not doing what their told and just dose things that are not needed and i hate that and the teachers dont even do anything about it im just ready to beat up the teachers cause they wont do anything to people that dose things wrong! and its just horrible i cant imagen how the partens or how the kids act at home.. so what do you think? do you just think that kids dont know stress or what?
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| POSTED BY: Jeff23 on 04/06/2008 10:42:24 |
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Oh I absolutely agree. As a college student, I'm not far out of (high) school. The educational system in the US is horribly screwed up. It isn't really anyone's fault either. You can't blame the teachers because they are only doing what they are told. It used to be (before my time) that teachers could actually discipline kids who were out of line, but now it's illegal, and the school would get sued and lose money. So teachers aren't allowed to do the things they want to. Unfortunately in America we have completely lost touch with what the important things are to learn and how to teach them. Parents are so concerned with their kids getting a better education than other countries that they actually force the school system to teach less. Schools are geared more and more towards standardized tests, which neither the teachers nor the students want to take part in. Honestly, the tests do test something, but not at all what they claim to test. They claim to test knowledge, understanding, or even intelligence. Actually, what they are testing is how well kids could memorize an assorted jumble of facts and how well a teacher was able to force kids to do it. Well, that's not learning at all! It's stressful and ridiculous. I'd rather see the public education system completely removed than see it continue down this path. There's a reason why humans became intelligent creatures before schools were in place. We will learn the things we need in the environment we need them. Some amazing studies have been done on kids 8-14 in Brazil. These kids were covering their parents' market stalls for them. The kids were able to quickly do arithmetic with the money in their heads with 98% accuracy. Later (that week) they were given the exact same arithmetic problems in the form of word problems and were only 74% accurate. If you think that's bad, when the kids were given the exact same problems in straightforward symbolic arithmetic they were only 37% accurate. [See: Terezinha Nunes of the University of London, England, and Analucia Dias Schliemann and David William Carraher of the Federal University of Pernambuco in Recife, Brazil, 1990s] |
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Having my own child in school (he is only 11) I get the same comments from him so I will respond as a "parent". Yes we understand the stresses that you face! STD's, pregnancy, drug use, bullies, we went through the same things when were growing up and that was before they had things like "Zero Tolerance" for drugs, weapons, school uniforms, etc. I will give you that going to school today is much more frightening then it was in my day. If I had an altercation w/ another classmate, there was little chance that I would be shot. Not during the fight; not after. I never had to worry about child molestors or someone snatching me off the street even though I had to walk 1.5 miles to my Jr. High and High Schools. So somethings are very different. The other thing to keep in mind is that you must talk to your parents. Even though you think you can not relate to them, that they don't listen, or that they are "too old" to understand.... TALK TO THEM! We are not in your school, on your bus, or walking w/ you so no, we don't know everything that you have to face. Your safety and well being is our primary focus in life. Hence the reason we are so strict and tough. We know what can happen out there. We see on the news every night! God forbid my child should suddenly disappear! ALWAYS! ALWAYS! ALWAYS! keep talking to your parents. No matter how you feel about them keep talking. They will respect you for it (eventually) and they will be getting valuable information. BUT! do not forget to listen as well. Though you may think us "Old Folks" haven't got a clue, we have probably been down the same path you are on. 
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Old enough to know better; Dumb enough to keep going!
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Well said, Narcsarge! As a parent of two (one 17, one 14), I see so many things for them to worry about that were not even factors when I was their age. Not only that, the school ciriculum is much more accelerated than it was when I was in school, and I went to parochial school! As you said, Narcsarge, it is very important for kids to communicate with their parents and for parents to foster an environment where communication is encouraged. Daniel
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교사 Yidan kumdo, Ildan taekwondo
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| POSTED BY: DireWolf on 04/07/2008 11:30:56 |
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As parents we must remember to listen. It's very easy for us to prescribe a cure for the troubles our kids are going through since we've been through it before. Remember that your kids will talk to those who listen to them. If you want them to talk to you about drugs and teenage sex, then you first have to listen to them when they talk about music, video games etc. -- things that are important to them but not that important to you as a parent.
I think participating in TKD with them is also good because it gives you a common interest. if you're both coming up the ranks together it also helps because the two of you are on equal ground. You can set an example about how to learn, how to practice, how to stick with something for the long term. |
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Quite right DireWolf. I encourage my son to talk openly and I ask him to have patience w/ me as I may have questions to ask. I did the same when I was an Assitant Instructor @ our Dojang. I always made it a point of listening to the kids that I had to pickup. I played their music and I listened to their stories. I answered their questions when asked. I talked w/ my son openly about the conversations he was having w/ his friends during the van ride to the Dojang. My son and I share time listening to each other's MP3 players and playing video games. My biggest issue, is trying to NOT be an instructor but just to be.
I try to live by the old addage speak only 1/2 as much as you listen.
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Old enough to know better; Dumb enough to keep going!
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| POSTED BY: doughboy on 04/14/2008 20:43:42 |
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i had to write a paper on aggression, and while i was reading up on all the previous researches done, my highschool was mentioned in 4 different published journals. my highshool wasn't big at all (around 1000 students back in 2001), and we out ranked every other schools in vancouver in drugs, violence, bullying, and number of students who get arrested. we were on top 3 with % of occurance (occurance number per 100 students) of each categories (there were 8 categories all together), and we were on top 10 with actual number of incidents. we were the first highschool to have 4 police officers on school ground full time in canada. but even with all that, i turned out pretty well... alright... decent... well, i'm a congressman compared to how i would have turned out!
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i'm delicious
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I think about what kids go through a lot.
I don't have kids. I've got three wonderful nieces and I adore them.
I've watched the public education system go right down the tubes. In my area... we went from a few kids fiddling with recreational drugs in the 80s... to a full on drug and violence problem. Lots of kids going to court and basically going in and out of the juevenile center like it had a revolving cell door on it.
That's what inspired me to take martial arts back up again... to get my skills back up, and to aim to become an instructor, and to try to get a program going to catch some of these kids before they start going the wrong way.
Honestly kickin... Sarge is right on... Talk with your folks... let them know what's going on... AND... at the same time... bust a move on those grades! You'll find out we can't control other people or get them to do right a lot of times... When that's going on, and it IS very stressful to be sure... our best bet is to focus on what we can control... like our reactions to what's going on... and, what we do with our time. Chuck Norris, in his 'code of ethics' has a nice line in there... "I will give so much time to the improvement of myself, that I will have no time to criticize others." http://www.chucknorris.com/images/products/Chuck%20Norris-code2.jpg
The best possibly way, from my chair here, (which means I can't see all that you're going through from where I am... this is just my 'impression' or 'opinion', so please take it with a grain of salt), to overcome some of those things going on in your school, that you mention, is to work EXTRA hard in school... go get those grades... If they're not all A's... keep working at them to make them the best you possibly can. And when you get em up as much as you think you can... keep trying to make em better. Spend that extra time on homework...
It's just like a fight... when your opponent's getting the better end of things... that's when you gotta battle the hardest and land your shots, so they'll quit landing theirs... If you can get past what they're doing, and just do what you went in there to do, and focus on doing it... hitting em.... then you can turn it around and win.
School's the same way... even when the place seems like a crazy, frustrating zoo... if you dig in hard... and stay motivated... and bust out the best grades you can eek out... and concentrate on that... just concentrate on doing all the positive things you can do, while you are there... ANY way you can do those things (as long as it is honest!)... DO IT...
As for the kids in your school that are screwing up and acting like dingbats... ignore that all... Be nice to em... but just go in and concentrate on getting every last scrap out of your education you can.
And remember... when the teacher is talking to the class... the teacher is really JUST talking to you... everything they say... is meant for you... if you listen hard... ask questions when you don't understand, and try your very best to make sure you LEARN from them... while not worrying about what the other kids are doing or not doing...
You'll get those grades you'll need later down the road to be what you want to be in life, and have what you want to have...
And you'll also, incidentally... have a black belt not just in your do-jang... but in your life... and it's the black belt you earn in life... that counts for more than any belt you can get in a do-jang.
Stay strong!! Talk to your folks... keep studying... and keep kicking. ;) And don't forget... you've got a cheering section right here on TKDSpace rootin for ya!
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Getting through life takes just a LITTLE bit of insanity!*g*
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