I was going to try to write daily, however for the internet this is not always practical. I do write ofen in my own training journal so I am atleast happy with that. Honestly I think if I wrote about my boring life and posted it daily I would feel great pitty for anyone who took the time to always read my blog anyways.
Monday
I managed to hit the Main school black belt class on Monday with Master Weever. For the first half of class we worked on some basics but ofcourse focused on forms. For the most art it seemed as though everyone did fine on the forms called out. After about 30 minutes Master Weever kicked the red belts to the back and continued to work with the Black Belts on thier forms. Honestly I thnk this is a good thing because many of the black belts do not get as much time in class to work on thier own forms as they dedicate more of thier class time to helping others and they monday class was actually set up for them. It would be selfish for us red belts to hold the blackbelts back from much needed class time. As a Red Belt Black Tip I understand this need as I spend more time working with my classmates on thier forms then working on my current one so I understand the importance of the Monday night class for the black belts.
Of the 4 red belts, 3 of us were black tips and since we do not have black belt testing it was decided that we should spend time helping the 1 of us who would actually be testing. I tried to let the redbelt black tip who has been at the level the longest take the lead, however since he did not I kind of took over that roles. We worked extremely hard on Taeguek/palgwe Chil Jang for about 20 minutes until Master Weever walked back and wanted to see how we were doing. I think he was impressed to see how busy we kept ourselves as well as how well we kept togather as a group when we did our Chil Jang forms for him. I think he was also able to tell that 3 of us train togather often as our timing was great and the West branch habits were very clear.
Tuesday
Today was the first day of this 4 week session and overall it was a great day. We picked up 7 or so brand new people for our beganner class and most of the advanced class are as prepared as possible for testing dec 12th and 13th. Before the beganner class I got a dust mop from the Y people and dust mopped the gym as is my habit and I took note of all the people as they arrived. I would have thought that the new people would have been tipped off to who I was as I was clearly not dressed like a Y staff member and my TKD gear bag was sitting on a bench from where they were sitting but I was wrong. I walked up to the group and told them that thier instructer would be in soon and I got a funny look from two of the people. I soon walked out and went and changed and reentered the gym and the people who gave me a funny look got very red because they did not realise I was part of the TKD class as a sr student to help out. In any event the class went well and we actually covered a good bit of material for the first class of the session. At the end of class I took pitty on them since they all looked pretty beat and only had them do 20 pushups and situps.
The advanced class also went extremely well. We worked hard on poomse and all of those hoping to test next week all looked good and comfortible with the forms they need to have for the promotional testing. After class was over a few of us stuck around worked a little on forms but we spent more time on breaking techniques. Breaking part of our test and something that causes issue for many people so having breaking practice is extremely important.
Wednesday
Today I made it to both the south branch as well as the main school for black belt class. Class at the South Branch was a lot of fun but odd for me in some ways. They also have a forms focused class and since many of the pople there still do not know me as well I felt kind of like the odd man out, or the last person picked in gym class. I worked for a few moments with some blue belts, but I do not think they were as comfortible with me helping them out as they would have been with someone from thier own class. I completely understand this which is why attending classes at the south branch has been a priority over the last couple of weeks. I used to hit classes there every now and again as I could, however starting last week I decided to hit classes there more regularly so the people know me more instead of just knowing that I am red belt black tip. The best way to earn the respect of a TKD class is to hit classes with them let them see your skill level as well as get to know you on a personal level during class breaks and so forth. You can not push yourself on these people no matter what your belt rank is. We ofcourse hold respect for those of higher rank, but earning respect as a person not just a rank is not the same thing.
Blackbelt class was extremely unique tonight. As Grand Master Kim was working with diffrent groups Jennifer and I worked togather on our Pal Jang poomse. After we went through it a few times we decided to stop for water. On of the Masters classed us over and expressed his thoughts on us and our practice. I was amazed when he said he has been watching us since we started black belt class and was impressed with how well we are doing. The only "negitive" thing he said was we did not look comfortible with our Pal Jang form even though we knew it. His advice was to block out what is going on and just be more confident with Palgwe Pal Jang. I will say he was right on with what he said. For some reason I was not comfortible in class today and I hope he was the only person who noticed this. Usually I keep my personal thoughts/emotions in check and I can not believe I let it slip in class today. The Master who give this advice has spoken with me a few times over the last few months and whenever he gives advice I am not foolish enough to ignore what he says. To me he seems like a person who commands respect merely by his presence and expects perfection in himself as well as others. To have him say we looked great with our practice and we just need to be more comfortible with it is a huge complament from him.
I think at times I do feel a bit out of place at black belt class because after all of the 40ish people in class I am one of the last 3 to rank and many of the people there are 3rd dan or higher. In a way it upsets me that I do not think I "look" as good as they do on drills or forms so perhaps this is what he was noticing today. I want to do well in class for myself, but I also do not want to do anything that would bring shame to my class or my instructer. This keeps me locked up and nervous in some ways and once I can finally let go of that completely I think my skill level, confidence and comfort will show as it does well I am at my own dojan. The thing that frightens me about blackbelt class is also the thing I love. I love looking at the high ranks and using them as a bench mark for improving my skills as well as gaining thier feedback and taken in whatever is offered to me. Over the last 4ish months of attending that class I have had a number of Jr. Master and Masters give me advice and complaments for my skill level and dediation. One of them came out and side for lower rank people like myself attending the black belt class can be frightening and many redbelts black tips will attend classes from time to time, but it is uncommon for people to attend the class as often as my wife and I do.
So far for daily reflections I did one on the Hwarang code, a reflection on the concept of humality and I have not figured out what I am doing for tonight yet. Acutally come to think about it. I was still reflecting on the concept of humality today before we even hit black belt class and perhaps that is why I did not look as "confident" as I normally do in class.
Well that is it for the first half of the week. I am hoping the second half is as positive as the first half, as I know I will need high energy to finish off the week.
