What is the sixth tenet? It's a question that's been bugging me ever since one of the black belts mentioned it almost half-heartedly - 'you think getting all the Korean for stances down is tough? wait til you get to your black belt grading... they ask you stuff there's no real answer to. Like what's the sixth tenet.'
Yes I know I'm only a wee little 7th kup, soon to be testing for - wait for it... green belt! But it got me thinking.
What is the sixth tenet?
At first I thought it should be self-esteem. But I realised that was what I saw because that's what I most needed at the time.
Tonight I stumbled across the question again, but this time came closer to an answer while walking to the chip shop (my one a week - and I did walk!).
In the end I came up with two. Empathy was the first.
Without empathy, without the ability to get up inside someone else's dobok for a second or two and see the situation through their eyes, you're missing a lot in taekwondo. How can you decide upon the right way to attack without guessing how they will react first? How can you decide when (and in which direction) to run. How can you measure self-control without taking into account the other person's experience, height, weight, age, flexibility, grade.
Empathy is a skill that can be learned and developed, like all of the other 5: courtesy, integrity, self-control, perseverance and indomitable spirit.
It's also something that can be aspired to, and transferred into everyday life.
Maybe asking for Jedi mind control is a step too far, but there could be something in it.
I was quite happy with empathy. Until another popped into my head. Gratitude.
What?!?!? Yeah, I know it's a bit out there but go with me on this!
I don't mean saying please and thank you - that comes under courtesy.
I mean really being appreciative of your opportunities, your experience, everything that's got you to where you are today and made you who you are.
Think of someone you live with - could be a mum, dad, boyfriend, wife, housemate, anyone. Have you ever noticed when you've thanked them for doing something, however small or trivial it may be, they do more of it. And they do more things that are likely to make you thank them.
Maybe you've been in a situation where you've had a lot taken away from you. You thought it was a disaster, that nothing would ever be the same again. Then one day you realise it could be worse, you become grateful for what you have and things start to pick up.
A few years ago I had a really severe injury - I was in my early 20s, very fit and healthy but I was in so much pain I literally couldn't walk without supporting my whole body weight on my arms. I had sciatica, my sciatic nerve was being pinched every time I moved and I'd get a rush of intense pain all the way down my legs. No-one could figure out what was causing it. So it went on for years on and off.
Last year, the London Marathon was on my birthday and as it was an ambition of mine to run it on my birthday since childhood I decided enough was enough. Long story short, I eventually found an excellent physio who worked out that because of a muscle weakness in my hip, a tiny muscle that wraps around the sciatic nerve was doing too much work and getting fatigued.
What shocked me was that she told me how lucky I was - both legs were the same length, my bones were in the right place... there was nothing structurally wrong with me.
And it dawned on me that she was right. I was so happy, so thankful that it was 'just' a muscular problem.
So how does that impact on taekwondo? Well, I'm grateful for the skills I have, and the skills I am being taught to improve. I'm grateful to Gen Choi Hong Hi et al who went through the arduous task of working out the moves - they did the hard work so people like me and you can aspire to learn them to perfection. I'm grateful that I have a wonderful instructor who's learnt from his masters and continues to learn to pass on tips and techniques to us. I'm grateful that there is always something somewhere to improve to take it to a higher level. I'm grateful that the people I train with are good people with positive attitudes and plenty of things to teach me about TKD and about life.
When you're grateful for what you've got, it makes you more open to receiving more of the same. Because I'm grateful for the opportunities I've had so far, I am more aware of new opportunities when they come along.
Because I'm grateful that I've been handed a few good beatings but have learnt so much from them, I'm open to always picking up something new, whatever clothes it comes dressed in.
The odd thing is, gratitude doesn't come naturally to most people - it needs to be learned and practiced like CIPSI and empathy above...
So there are my two tenets - I'd have had a third but couldn't think of a snappy way to express 'being in the moment.... like in the Matrix' 
So what do you think? I'm fascinated to hear what you think - and if you're a black belt who was asked it, what did you say and why? Go on, I'll be ever so grateful 
Jx
Tags: Taekwondo Jinxi Tenet Sixth 6th Theory Empathy Gratitude
