Last night was my last training session before my next grading on Saturday for my green tag (7th kup). It wasn't supposed to be: I'd been hoping to train tomorrow, but I have a work shift 200 miles away so I'll have to give it a miss.
The session went well - I'm happy enough with my linework although I wish my pattern (Dan Gun) was a bit crisper, and my Korean terminology was fairly good...
But now I'm starting to feel nervous. It's ridiculous, I know - physical harm is not a real risk at this stage (apart from perhaps a pulled ham or bruised ego) and I know my stuff.
But still I worry that I'll shout the wrong number out in Korean when it's all quiet. Or, make like the poor student who, when asked what the Korean for 'L' stance is answered 'Soggy Ninja' instead of Niunja Sogi. Or get halfway through my pattern and my mind goes blank.
But then nerves can be good. The times I've done my best at something, it's generally been when I've had adrenaline coursing through me. Nerves come because you want something, whether it's to survive, do well, want to make your instructors proud or remember your pattern. So it can't be all bad.
I'll be telling myself that come 3.30pm on Saturday - and trying out a new breathing trick I picked up from Runner's World to combat butterflies. Apparently if you breathe in through your nose to a count of 3 and out of your mouth for a count of 4, it activates the system in the body that calms you down.
Well it can't hurt to try, can it?
Jx
Tags: Jinxi Leeds TAGB Training Grading Yellow
