Today there was an accident at a place I was taking photos at, a little boy chased after a bll into the street and was hit by a car. I was the first person to the boy and started to check on him, I do have some training from being an RA and Ref in college, he wasn't breathing and I started CPR and lucky he was able to breath on his own. The ambluance shortly arrived on the secene with the Sheriff's department at all and young lad was taken away and treated, his mother call med a little bit ago to thank me for what I did and to let me know that he was going to be ok, no interanl bleeding just some cracked ribs and deep burises, a very lucky guy in my book. After letting my office now what happened, the first thing asked was did I get pictures. I was upset and hung up my cell and turned it off.
Sadly, among my journalist there is the question is to be involved or not to be involved. We are trained to observe and not to interact but today I was forced into picking sides.I know no one in my office will say anything to me about it because they know not to challenge me on it.
But it does pose the question in my mind, what is my intergrity towards journalism or towards society? I believe I acted in the proper way, but in the same light I didn't as in my job. Lately I have been questioning myself if I'm really a journalist and am I doing the right thing. I've covered my accidents, deaths, murders and trials and it gets me twisted up in side, training says it's my job but when I covered the drowning of man I had photos of them pulling him out of the lake and you could see he was blue and I took the pictures and shortly after threw-up after I realized what I was working at but I was given an award for that photo and told I did a good job in covering spot news, a year later a police standoff where I had photos of the cops charging a guy with assualt weapons, I some how ended up in the that spot at the moment and was able to get photos and won another state award telling me how good I was.
Without even thinking about it I established myself as one the guys that could handle anything and at times If I knew the cops on scene I would be allowed in on the base that I would share photos and I've seem more gruesome stuff then any horror film can ever show and it makes me quezzy thinking about it.
But tonight, I put down the camera and got involed, I didn't want to write a story about a young boy being killed, I had a chance to help and I did, but did I change the story. I'm not looking to be called a hero, I did what had to be done. I'm sure anyone reading this would have done the same thing and wouldn't question yourself, but I'm voicing the thoughts out loud to keep me from being insane.
I know that alot of peers in the newspaper industry would be torn and some would say I should not have done a d*** thing.Maybe I'm at the point I should get out of the field, I've been thinking about going back into cullinary arts, most people have been telling I should, maybe thats my next career path, I'm not ready to change yet but I think I'm in the wrong field if I'm questioning myself if I did the right thing job wise or not.
