My older brother has been my first best friend and he and i are very close. The past few years(mayhap 5-7 years now) he has not lived in the same house as me. He lived with my grandparents and for mayhap about 3-4 years he has lived about two to three towns away.We hardly see each other maybe like once every 3-6 months or so. I am usually either watching the 3 siblings i live with, going to college or working and he works but doesn't go to college and he is getting married this coming April. Which i am actually going to be a bridesmaid for the wedding. That surprised me that i was asked. LOL! I was only going to insist that they invite me to the wedding. I am going to try to be at everyone of my sibling's weddings but instead of not only being at my older bro's wedding i was asked to stand up. I am very honoured to be asked and i am so very happy for him and his bride-to-be. The main reason I am having so much difficulty of letting him go is because this coming weekend he is moving to MI which is like a 3-4hr. drive instead of the 15-30min. drive it is now. What really Is the bomb is that right now I can't drive and i don't have a license! So i can't just decide to go up to visit for a weekend without having to have family take me up there, which also means that i can't go up anytime i want or need to get away from the siblings i live with. I am very glad for my older bro cause he is moving up this weekend cause he just got a good job up there. He and his bride-to-be were going to move up there later this year but he has to go sooner than expected cause of the job.He and i rarely ever talk cause one of us is usually busy when the other trys to talk. So this weekend i have been with him, and i'm extremely glad i am. Heh i had to miss a school field trip but I wouldn't have missed my LAST weekend of seeing my brother before he moves to MI!!!!!! Right now he is just in the next room sleeping and i already miss him like you wouldn't believe! What really Is the bomb is that I can't EVER cry about him leaving in front of him because then when something comes up in the future that will be painful for me that it is his responibility to inform me of he won't until it is too late. I'll have already found out because someone else told me thinking i'd already known. That's the way he has always been. God i love him so much but i hate it when i find out something that he should have told me from someone else because he was trying to protect me from being hurt. Ironic isn't it how that ends up hurting me cause it feels like he felt i couldn't handle it. It causes not only me to get mad at him but our biological mother and others that have hounded him to tell me. I love him to pieces though so i can't stay mad at him, i just wish that he would trust me enough to tell me when he has to move or when a family member dies. Heh once it took me mayhap bout 6months to find out that one of our rlelatives died and the person was lol an ornery relative but i still loved her a lot lol. I mean no disrespect to my brother! Heh sometimes though i wish he wasn't do darn protective of me, but i guess that shows how much he loves me in his own crazy way. He has been my first friend since i can remember! Lol my fondest memory of him was when he read books to me when i was a baby! ROFL i don't remeber what he was reading to me but i remember how soothing his voice was and lol sitting in his lap, listening as he read to me. He was a 5 years old and i was 2 then.I sometimes wish that he could lol have me sit in his lap or something as he reads to me. I don't care if it is Dr. Suess or Stephen King just as long as he reads to me. If he does that, it would be a perfect day no matter what! If he did that I could die happy!
I am sorry er well no i am not but i say sorry a lot lol its become a habit, but anyway i just need to write this. This is how i feel about my closest sibling and he is also the only full-blodded sibling i have so that also has made us closer for which i wouldn't EVER change for the world or even for everything that ever existed, exists or will exist! No matter how far apart we are phsyically we will always be together because we are forever in each other's hearts! Thank you for "listening" to my rant.
~Shortie~
