Step a little closer to the window and I'll show you a snapshot of my world.
I'm 28 years old and in the middle of one of the most turbulent times of my adult life.
Just under a year ago I restarted taekwondo after the best part of 12 years away. On paper, I had a great job - a good salary, opportunities to learn new skills and I was making headway into my dream of becoming a broadcaster. But I was in a bullying environment and I hated it.
My first lesson back was tough. But I loved it. And within weeks my confidence and spark was relit.
And it spread into every part of my life.
When my dream job was advertised a few weeks later, I applied - even though I'd applied many times before and got no further than a rejection letter.
This time I got more, much more. I got an interview. And then I got the call to say I'd got the job. Out of 1,500 applicants and 60 interviewees, I was one of 21 new trainees at the BBC.
Leaving my new club with my new friends and fantastic instructor was one of the hardest things I've ever done. The fact I was also leaving my boyfriend behind, a significant chunk of my previous income and having to adjust to one of the biggest cities in the world suggested it might be a tough six months.
Now, if this was a movie, there'd be one of those wavy type effects on screen and a noise that went a bit like doodaloodaloo doodaloodaloo... (go with it).
SIX MONTHS LATER
So now I'm back. My traineeship was a roaring success, I've got the next job waiting for me when it comes up.... but there's been cutbacks. I'm writing this at home, in Leeds, technically unemployed (although I prefer the term 'freelance'). In the last few months I've been ill, exhausted and stressed out. I couldn't afford to train in London, so I'm out of shape. And now I have a long list of outgoings and next to nothing coming in.
I've had better times!
Last night I trained at my club for the first time in six months - and it was like coming home. It was tough - made tougher as I'm on various medication for stress-related problems - but today I have a huge smile on my face.
Yep, my arms and legs and butt hurts in all the places I'd forgotten hurt after a tough session. But I feel calm, and positive. This morning I switched on my laptop and I've been booked for two more freelance shifts.
Things are starting to look up.
The next time someone tells you that something is impossible - take them to a taekwondo class and show them that anything is possible. Especially with TKD behind you.
Jx 
Tags: TAGB Yellow Jinxi Leeds UK
