So after my yellow belt i achieved my green tag, and finally my green which is where i am currently :)
I still wonder how sometimes! Especially after what i felt was a terrible green belt grading where i mixed up front, turning and side kicks due to nerves again!
But anyway, when i look back over the past year i have accomplished more than i would have predicted! FOUR new belts! And i still feel like i "rawr" at it sometimes, but other times i feel like i'm progressing and giving 110% and deserving my new accomplishments. And not just in tkd, my confidence has grown LOADS in the past year. Beforehand i wouldnt have been able to have a chat or conversation with a stranger on a bus, or in a shop or wherever, but now i actually enjoy it. I regularly chat to customers in my new part time job! I'm also a lot more confident in situations where you can feel really uncomfortable sometimes, like in a nightclub or new situations. I'm also willing to try new things out now, as i see how my journey in tkd has progressed so far, and no longer fear new experiences. My confidence in class has also grown, a year ago i would have been slightly fearful of a completely new concept/technique in class - like self defence aspects or difficult advanced kicks like the tornado, but now i embrace them and see them as a bit of fun - the fear has finally gone!
So i guess i have a lot to thank tkd for, and i can now see what martial arts is all about, not just self defence but a spiritual journey to unite mind, body and spirit and as a way of life.
There is however one tiny downside to my martial arts class. I seem to have made an enemy. One of the senior grades took an instant dislike to me. I am not to sure as to why, i was shy and quiet to start with and am always respectful and courteous. In my earler days she would pull a face if we were partnered off together, and laugh at my attempts (i mean they probably were not the best of techniques as i was a new white belt, but that's still no reason to laugh, we've all been there), if we were partnered off in sparring her face would fall as i was next in line to fight with her. She, on occasions, would also swap with the person next tp her just before the round started to avoid sparring with me! A year on and i am still having these problems. The laughing still continues, the look of disbelief when i do actually manage to pull a technique off correctly, a snort of amusement when i don't do something so well. A year, and i stil have no idea how to deal wiht this, i suppose though, it doesn't bother me as much as it would have done a few years back, and it isn't enough to scare me away. I shall continue, even if i am bloody terrible! I'm not planning on quitting and hopefully one day will be tying on a new belt - this time a black one.
